Yes, I am still single... but I saw this over at Jasmine's blog written by a very wise Mrs. Christine. I found these insights extremely helpful and a much needed encouragement to us single gals. May these remind us to make the most of our season of singleness.
Ten Things I Wish I'd Known When I Was Single:
1. Marriage doesn't "develop" the good traits. If you don't cultivate patience, joy, gentleness, kindness, etc. before marriage, they aren't going to miraculously appear when you've wed.
2. If you can't joyfully submit to your parents, you won't joyfully submit to your husband.
3. If you develop a "grass is greener" mentality while single, marriage won't feel as fulfilling as you dream it to be. Contentedness is something you must cultivate while single. If you aren't content as a daughter, you won't be magically become content as a wife.
4. Cultivate a schedule (along with a daily quiet time) before you have to schedule life around children. If you can function on a schedule as a single young lady, then you will flourish as a wife and mother.
5. Learn to play with your siblings. If you can't "enjoy" your brothers and sisters, it will be hard to "delight" in your children. You will love your children, yes... but you will not become a "fun" person through childbirth.
6. Learn to give. Make your life as a single young woman about serving others. (Make sure to do this through the leadership of your father so that you choose wisely and don't overextend yourself.) If you make your single years about "serving self," it is very difficult to "kill off self" once you're married.
7. Learn to please your earthly father. This relationship will give you the vital ability to discern what will bless your future husband. Granted, every man is different... but if you seek to do your father good, it will be easy to seek to do your husband good.
8. Consider your mother your mentor. Learn from her... Study her... Memorize her movements and schedules. One day you will be the "home manager."
9. Learn to enjoy and have fun with "just" your family. If you need friends to make life fun while single, the same will apply when married.
10. Learn to follow a budget and shop wisely. Regardless of your family's "mode" of living, generally marriage is started off on a simple budget. You will be a great blessing to your husband if you manage carefully the money he gives to you.
Any more you would add? Which ones spoke the most to you?
Hmm...how about, "Find joy in doing ordinary tasks?" This is something I've really had to work on but I am finding that it makes such a difference when I focus on working to the best of my abilities as in service to Christ. I think we all have a tendancy to sometimes look at wifehood/motherhood as the thing that will finally make us content (even when we know this isn't true) but I know that there will be many days in that season that feel mundane and super-oridnary. So learning to do whatever tasks God has called us to do with a joyful heart will greatly benefit our lives in the seasons ahead. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, that is a great one, Stephanie. One that I am working on as well...
ReplyDeleteThose are great words of wisdom. Thanks for sharing that with us!
ReplyDeleteThey all speak to me, but the ones I thinking about right now are #7 and #13.
This is good, but what about when your earthly father and mother are not good examples and they bring you down? I know that there are general ways you can serve them and obey them, but because they dont have a relationship with God, they aren't led by God. Alot that I've learned about relationships hasn't been from my parents unless its something that I want to do differently, but from spiritual mentors. My parents love me and provide for my physical needs and my emotional needs to a degree, but my spiritual needs - not at all.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this list. (not that I have any personal experience about being marriage :) )
ReplyDeleteI'm different from most single girls who visit here in that I've had to move out of home and I live with my brother. It has been a great practise at budgeting and preparing healthy meals without too much expense.
I'm still struggling at keeping too a consistent schedual - my main problem is the amount of time that my study takes up. Hopefully I will be finished studing when I get married.
Kristy - I think that it's okay to take your spiritual guidance from a commited Christian. Maybe there is a Christian couple who you can look to for how a God honouring marriage could work if your parents are not able to provide this. Once a week I go to visit my mentor, and have learnt so much about how a Christian woman can be a godly wife and mother from her - which is especially good for me becasue my Mum lives so far away and I can't see her on a day-to-day basis.
Thanks so much for posting these, Kaysie! As I read through them, I was like, "Ooh. I need to work and that one, and that one, etc." I need to print these out, so I can read them everyday!
ReplyDeleteKristy, thanks for raising up a great question. I myself have had this thought in reference to girls like you with no stable spiritual leading from parents, and would also love for others to weigh in on this subject. I might open up a forum post to deal with this question. :)
ReplyDelete[...] 10 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was Single [...]
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteThose 10 things really spoke tho me. Those are the things I strive to accomplish. As a teenage daughter of Christ those are the things I pray to be apart of my life. They have encouraged me. Thank you!
Thanks so much for posting that! I loved reading it, and I'm sure I'll be re-reading it. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, those are really powerful! #7 & #8, speak to me and really jumped out! That's a real good reminder. I have been reminded about a lot of these many times, but having it always brought forth again makes sense! Thanks for this wonderful encouragement and also to see the comments from the others is nice to know that others are also struggling at times. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with all the statements from one through ten, but here is another twist for number seven. What if you did not get to spend time with your earthly father; what if he died while you were a toddler. I did not have a father to cultivate that environment for me. and my mother never remarried. My mother kept her relationships hidden from us because they were only casual. This is the pattern that I myself is trying to undo for my own daughters. I am currently divorced and celebate; I let them know that God is going to send the right man my way one day but as He prepares my husband to except me as his queen, He is preparing me for my king. I love the book of Esther; how she was groomed for her king.
ReplyDeleteThis is a thought-provoking and very good list. I especially like number 9- about being content with your family and not always wanting to go out and have fun with friends.
ReplyDeleteWhat about emphasizing the fact that married women should be able to manage their own money, money that they have earned? What if a woman is not called to be a mother?
ReplyDeleteWhile becoming a wife and a mother are indeed goals of mine, they are not the sole ways that I plan to define myself. Presenting such a one-dimensional view of what women should know before marriage doesn't attempt to capture the multi-dimensional ways God sees us.
great!!
ReplyDeletecan i copy this list to my note at facebook?
ask for ur permitt..
thank u.
Debora, sure thing! :)
ReplyDeletehuge thanks kaysie..
ReplyDeleteim debora from indonesia, glad to found ur blog, while im searching the story bout the alabaster box, as our Pastor teach us bout the intimate, a heart like mary magdalena.
i taught bout the same value like yours, Purity, be max and complete with my Singleness, etc. at my church.
blessed by ur blog..
Thank u.