an embrace that can't be torn asunder

What is it that I love in loving You? You are the light that shines into my soul which no physical place can contain, where time does not snatch away the lovely sound, where no breeze disperses the sweet fragrance, where no eating diminishes the food, and where there is an embrace that can't be torn asunder. This is what I love when I love my God.

What is this God? I asked the earth, and it answered, "I am not He." Everything in the earth made the same confession. I asked the sea and the deeps and the creeping things, and they replied, "we are not your God; seek above us." I asked the fleeting winds, and the entire air with its inhabitants answered, "I am not God." I asked the heavens, the sun, moon, and stars; and they answered, "Neither are we the God whom you seek."

I replied to all these things that surround me: "You have told me about my God, that you are not He. Tell me something about Him." With a loud voice they all cried out, "He made us." My question had come from observing them, and their reply came from their beauty of order.

Isn't this beauty of form visible to all whose senses are unimpaired? Why, then, does it not say the same things to all? Animals, both great and small, see but are unable to question its meaning. Their senses are not endowed with the reason that would enable them to judge the evidence their senses report.

-St. Augustine

Capriciousness and Camomile

(This is a follow-up to my questions post from a dew days ago. I have decided to break  some of the questions into individual posts for space and clarity.)

Kit (echoed by Jen and Camille) asked: "How in the world do we as women deal with our crazy up and down emotions, particularly from a Biblical perspective? Have you had experiences like this, and what did you do? And what tea did you drink while you were doing it? :) "

To begin, yes, I do struggle with my emotions. And hopefully I am learning to handle them better through God's grace and truth, though I am by no means an expert. I only know that the goal of my life is "to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God." (Col. 1:10) Applying this to my emotional life has helped shape a backbone into a somewhat varied and unstable issue.

But let me quickly address a common false assumption among many truth-loving Christians regarding emotions. First of all, emotions are not evil. I have been guilty of such a judgment. Somewhere in my quest to honor God with my emotions I confused emotions with sin. We cannot fall into this trap. Emotions are created by God and can be used to glorify and enhance our love for Him. If we think that by snuffing or ignoring the existence of emotions is pleasing God, we have grossly missed the mark and discolored a fundamental distinction between humans and the rest of creation. So rather than disdaining our emotions, we must learn how to properly and biblically facilitate them.

Let's start at ground level. God made us. He made emotions. So obviously He can direct us in the right course on how to handle them. Emotions are not the truth, but they can align with (or contradict) the truth. The key is to create (or rather discover in Scripture) a bold, unwavering line in which we can examine our emotions to see if they align to God's standard. We should never act on or build upon a shifty foundation, and our emotions are capricious and make horrible footings. We need something stronger and immovable as our foundation -- we need the Word of God to consent or condemn the changing colors of our feelings.

All this sounds good and most of us know this, but how do we practically apply this to those, to borrow Anne of Green Gables' term, "depths of despair" days? I see it like this: Last year I had a thriving jasmine vine whose sole desire was to spread it's branches onto anything and everything it could reach. I bought a wooden trellis to give it some healthy direction instead of growing into high traffic areas on the back deck and getting torn or smashed, but it seemed like I had to re-position it back onto the trellis every morning because overnight it would get out of shape again.

We are exactly like that jasmine. Situations, irritations, people and hormones bend us out of shape and we lash out with purely emotional voltage. We wrap ourselves around unhealthy objects or follow unsafe patterns fed by our emotions that harm the people around us and ourselves, not to mention we sadden the heart of our Father God. Re-shaping our attitudes and feelings in accordance with God's Word (our solid trellis) is the only comfort and hope for the emotional soul.

SO ... the first point is to know what the Word says about how we are to feel; we are to be "increasing in the knowledge of God." Here are a few samples to refute or reaffirm disparate emotions.

• When feeling anxious, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6


• When feeling afraid, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.” Psalms 56:3


• When feeling uncertain, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5


• When feeling depressed, “From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for You have been my refuge.” Psalms 61:2-3


• When feeling alone, “For He has said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5


• When feeling stressed, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28


• When feeling unloved, “But God demonstrates His own love towards us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Secondly, don't be afraid to ask God for grace in times of need. Hebrews 4:15-16 assures us, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Unlike ourselves, God's emotions are holy and stable -- so we are never going to catch Him in a "bad moment." He is sympathetic and merciful to the asking, needy heart. In my worst moments of emotional caos, one of the greatest aids is to stop, even if it is for a moment, and humbly ask God for grace. Taking a moment to assess the damage, define the cause, repent of failings, and welcome grace is the remedy for those crazy up and down emotions that we all expereince. And while we're at it, a good cup of camomile tea is defnitely a saving grace.

traveling stories

This morning I am waking up in a dimly lit hotel room (due to a spur of the moment family trip) where I am enjoying the freedom of this moment. My electric tea kettle just clicked off (folks, never leave your tea kettle behind) and now the pleasant and familiar aroma of black tea fills my little corner of the room. Pulling back the curtains allows the sunshine to breathe through the window and awakes my slumbering siblings. Good morning.

Traveling is always reflective for me. It influences me see in the third person, as if I am the narrator of a traveling story. It's a good chance to simply observe the surroundings without actually engaging in them, to watch people without having to know or fix every detail of their lives (as if that is possible).

But coming and going can also leave a person disconnected. And strangely I believe that is what most people feel even living in their own stories. We are just fraying humans searching for a common thread to connect us to something valuable and important. This is the tapestry of the world. If one could find the missing seam maybe our stories would make sense.

"The people who were sitting in darkness saw a great Light, and those who were sitting in the land and the shadow of death, upon them a Light dawned." (Matt. 4:16) "In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. There was the true Light which coming into the world, enlightens every man." (John 1:4-5, 9)

Only in His story do our stories make sense.

Stay Close

Far back as I can remember I have loved Psalms 73, especially the ending:

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.

Throughout the seasons of life, I find myself returning and feeding on the beautiful truths and comfort found here. Because honestly, at all times, I desire God's nearness above all. This psalm presents such an honesty about my frailty: my flesh and my heart fail me. They are unfaithful to trust in. And stability I seek can't settle upon either of these.

But Jesus -- sweet Jesus -- is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. He is a rock that is higher than I. He is the exact amount I need every day. When I lack courage and my knees shake under the fear, Christ infuses a perfect timely strength which enables me to keep walking in faith. When I struggle with desires for more, for seasons in the future, for what I don't have, Jesus is my portion. He is and gives exactly what I need for every moment. My cup is always full.

When I wander from His presence I dreadfully perish. My nurishement and hope is misplaced onto objects weak and vain, and I feel their deficientcy in my core. My good is found only in the Lord's nearness. He is my refuge and desire. My greatest need and purpose is to stay close to Jesus... for my joy is found in Him.

UPDATE:

This morning brought the news of my grandmother's death from cancer. I humbly ask for your prayers for my family and myself as we travel to participate in the funeral. Considering what I wrote in this post last night reminds me of the strength and portion He daily gives. His nearness is my greatest comfort.

Thank you for your prayers and comments! It means so much to know you are praying.

time to bloom

I am in one of those moods in which I have much to say -- but I can't get it out in a logical way. Anyone ever have those moments? I have begun about five or six blog posts all encompassing different subjects, but after reading over them . . . let's just say I want to spare you a few rabbit trails. I am attempting to make this post stick.

Today was a gorgeous day. I took a short walk outside just to observe the budding glory of springtime. Color is softly transforming the muted landscapes around me. Tiny delicate buds pop out of the ends of limbs and plants and spread tones of interest to our world. It's beautiful. It's a metaphor for so many subjects.

You may have heard the slogan "bloom where you're planted." I think many people might overlook the bravery and vulnerability it takes to "bloom." Think about it. Winter has snuffed any possible growth with it's frigid, unforgiving control for the past few months. Suddenly the world becomes warm again -- but who knows if it will last. The decision to bloom is dangerous. One delayed frost could stab tender life. Yet . . .

I see blooms.

There is a simple beauty -- a reckless trust -- about springtime. Nature believes that life is here to stay. Winter is over. Time has come to heal and grow. I understand that many of our lives are in this same season. Winter has been cruel. Perhaps we are afraid to ever grow again -- what if we are nipped in the bud?

Fear is our winter . . . yet it is time to trust Jesus enough to bloom in hope and faith. "Perfect love casts out fear..." (1 John 4:18) When the love of Christ has been perfected in us -- when it has mastered us -- our fear impishly sits down and courage rises. It's the beauty of abiding in the Vine.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.  (John 15:4-5)

I don't know exactly what you may be facing or what pains winter has inflicted, but I do know that settling in the shadows is not the answer. Loving Jesus is about trusting Jesus; having His love season and infuse truth, joy, and strength in us. We can break forth and bear fruit because Jesus is completing the work He began in us.

Springtime is here. Time to bloom.

Faith's Appetite

The fight of faith is the fight to stay satisfied with God. “By faith Moses. . . forsook the fleeting pleasures of sin ... He looked to the reward” (Heb 11:24-26). Faith is not content with “fleeting pleasures.” It is ravenous for joy. And the Word of God says, “In God’s presence is fullness of joy, and in his right hand are pleasures for evermore” (Psalm 16:11). So faith will not be sidetracked into sin. It will not give up so easily in its quest for maximum joy.

The role of God’s Word is to feed faith’s appetite for God. And in doing this it weans my heart away from the deceptive taste of lust. At first lust begins to trick me into feeling that I would really miss out on some great satisfaction if I followed the path of purity. But then I take up the sword of the Spirit and begin to fight. I read that it is better to gouge out my eye than to lust (Matt 5:29). I read that if I think about things that are pure and lovely and excellent the peace of God will be with me (Phil 4:8). I read that setting the mind on the flesh brings death, but setting the mind on the Spirit brings life and peace (Rom 8:6).

And as I pray for my faith to be satisfied with God’s life and peace, the sword of the Spirit carves the sugar coating off the poison of lust. I see it for what it is. And by the grace of God, its alluring power is broken.

The challenge before us then is not merely to do what God says because He is God, but to desire what God says because he is good. The challenge is not merely to pursue righteousness, but to prefer righteousness. The challenge is to get up in the morning and prayerfully meditate on the Scriptures until we experience joy and peace in believing “the precious and very great promises” of God (Rom 15:13; 2 Peter 1:4). With this joy set before us the commandments of God will not be burdensome (1 John 5:3) and the compensation of sin will appear too brief and too shallow to lure us.

--John Piper (source)

Spring Fever

My little sister reminded me a few days ago that it has been over a week since I posted on this blog. Please forgive my unexplained absence! It seems that every time I sit down to type something more demanding steals my attention, and thus a lack of posts. In addition -- spring is outside! Phew, it has been a long wait for me but at last it is finally here! I am so thankful for simple things like springtime.

My head has been buzzing with possible blog post suggestions and I am trying to push them out, but I confess my sunny windows beckon me nearer all too often. Yet keep an eye out -- you may see new posts soon.

For now I will leave you with a quote I have been pondering on:

“At the root of all our disobedience are particular ways in which we continue to seek control of our lives through systems of works-righteousness. The way to progress as a Christian is to continually repent and uproot these systems the same way we become Christians, namely by the vivid depiction (and re-depiction) of Christ’s saving work for us, and the abandoning of self-trusting efforts to complete ourselves. We must go back again and again to the gospel of Christ-crucified, so that our hearts are more deeply gripped by the reality of what he did and who we are in him.” -- Timothy Keller

May our hearts become more deeply gripped by the glorious gospel of Jesus.

Can I Trust God?

Have you ever asked yourself, "Why should I trust God?"

Trust is a delicate issue. No one can simply "produce" trust just because we are commanded to. Trust comes as a result of knowing, believing, and resting in the character or stability of something or someone. This directly relates to trusting in the Lord as well. We can't trust God if we don't know God.

In my quiet times, I have been meditating a lot on Psalms 37, especially verse 3. It says, "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness." Cultivate faithfulness can also read feed on His faithfulness. Can understanding God's faithfulness relate to our trusting in Him? I believe so.

In Lamentations 3:21-25 it says, "This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The LORD'S loving-kindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him."

After I dissected those verses a little bit, I made a list of God's character traits explained in these verses that effect and even produce trust in God. Here is what I came up with:

• His loving-kindness never ceases.


• His compassion never fails.


• His faithfulness is great.


• He is my portion.


• He is my hope.


• He is good to those who wait for Him.


• He is good to those who seek Him.

This small list contains huge, life-altering truths that are pertinent to my trusting in the Lord. I can trust Him because His compassion never runs out. I can trust Him because He is my hope in terrifying times. I can trust Him because He is good to those who wait for Him and seek Him. His faithfulness to me is GREAT. His faithfulness reaches to the skies (Ps. 36:5). My heart can rest securely in His character and His promises.

So, can I trust God? ... yes. A thousand times, yes.

complete trust

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

How many times have I heard that verse? 50 times? 100? And yet, how often do I obey it? I can tell you, those numbers are much smaller. Trust is something I am striving to apply in my life right now. There are so many things I am hoping for... waiting for... and I am trusting God to bring what needs to be brought and hold back what needs to wait. Leaning on my own understanding is such a temptation for me. My view is only a partial outlook -- but I still attempt to make decisions based only on what I can see. God sees all things. He is wise and all-knowing. But my stubborn heart loves to lean on my limited vision of life instead of His.

Why? Because I trust in me instead of Him.

Trust involves two things: letting go and holding on. And those are not conflicting. Right now in my life, I am having to let go of what I can't control and release the future, my heart, and my desires into God's hands. But I also hold onto Him. Even tighter.

Trusting in myself is never a good idea.

Thus says the Lord: "Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:5-8)

My flesh is not my strength, yet I rely on it all too often. I want to be like the tree planted by the waters, a woman who has complete trust in her God. Who releases what I cannot control or understand, and clings securely to God, who is worthy of trust.

"Commit your way to Him, trust also in Him, and He will do it." (Ps. 37:5)

the beauty of abiding

It is an unusual feeling to realize I can do nothing.

Let that soak in. I am making you wait for the next phrase. Yes, the verse continues, "I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." (John 15:5) But I don't really believe that most of the time, or at lease I don't live like it. If I was a branch (that is a funny phrase...), I would be climbing up the trellis of life, typically unaware that my sustenance and vitality comes from the Vine I am implanted in. If I am growing, it inevitably means that I am connected to the Vine.

Still further, if I am not growing -- there is only one possible conclusion. I have ceased to abide in the Vine. And there I am, fruitless and able to do nothing apart from the Source of my life.

When I think about the word "abide," I often picture something like a glove or umbrella. The word creates for me a vision of envelopment and enclosure. When you slide a glove onto your hand, the glove moves with your gestures; it is conformed to the image and mission of your hand. Also with an umbrella, if located directly under it's wings, you are protected from the dangerous and troubled weather. In both cases, the enveloped and protected are "abiding" in their individual ways.

I want my life to represent both. I want to attain an absolute closeness to the Father's hands, making His missions mine, and His movements my own. I also desire to dwell securely under His protection, to fully rest under His sovereignty and faithful grace. Just as every branch is deeply embedded into the main vine, I want my life to wrap around--to center on--Jesus. And for me, the first step towards authentic abiding is recognizing my total insignificance without Him. I can do absolutely nothing without Him. Honestly.

When I look into the face of an infant, I see in their eyes what I desire. They are recklessly dependent upon a source other than themselves, but yet (most of the time) they are peacefully content and trusting. They sleep in the arms of their parents. They smile naturally at their providers. They rest and abide in the faithful provision and care of their guardian.

How much more should I abide in the arms of my Lord? He is actually beyond comparision to earthly parents. His ways are perfect and everlasting. And He invites us to abide in His love (John 15:9). Finding solace and strength in the only True Vine allows me to live fruitfully and to thrive amidst life. The connection is sure. And my heart rejoices in the closeness of Christ. "As for me, the nearness of God is my good..." (Ps. 73:28)

A Centerpiece

I did something unusual the other day. I wrote in the first space of this week in my day planner "time with God."

You might assume me to be very devout and spiritual, but actually -- when I got to thinking about it later, I am quite foolish. The fact that I must "pencil" God into my day reveals something in me that contrasts holiness, maybe even borders heathenism. What I thought was godly prioritizing was in fact placing God in a time slot.

I try to be careful and keep God at the top of my priorities. You know, "seek first the kingdom of God." But I never realized that squeezing Him into an upper compartment of my life was actually degrading His value and encompassing worth. Knowing and honoring Jesus doesn't simply involve bumping Him up to the top of my "to-do" list. What does He want? Where does He belong in my life?

He must be at the center.

Throughout my day, as I am busy following my schedule, working on activities, interacting with people, and completing assignments ... all this should revolve around Him, instead of "start out" with Him. If I take Him into every activity, every relationship, and every circumstance He will saturate me and those around me, enabling me to walk by faith and love others unconditionally and support those who are weak. I need Him in every moment, not just the morning slot of my day. His presence should permeate life.

Charlie Hall sings a song called Center that proclaims this chorus:

Christ be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our eyes
Be the center of our lives
We lift our eyes to heaven
We wrap our lives around your life
We lift our eyes to heaven, to You

It is my fervent desire that my life is wrapped around His life -- instead of the other way around. God must become the centerpiece of my heart and the place I fix my eyes. I want "to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God," (Eph. 3:19) and to carry that fullness into every day.

Sweet Infusion

Have you ever watched a teabag sink into a cup of steamy water and observed the strands of color glide out of the teabag and paint the water? I know I am probably insane, but I love watching tea infuse. A spicy aroma climbs out of the cup soaking the air and enhancing the practice of drinking tea.

I have a glass plate sitting above my bed that reads: "Women are like tea bags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water." (Eleanor Roosevelt)  Lately, I have not been pleased with my heart's infusings. Life's hot water is revealing in me a complaining spirit and burdened disposition. Despite my efforts to conceal it, the fragrance of what is inside cannot be hidden. One of my favorite verses reminds me of what fragrance I am to be diffusing.

But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing ... (2 Corinthians 2:14-15)

It saddens me to say that my aroma has been infused with sin and self-sufficiency rather than Jesus' redemption and my utter dependency on Him. I was confronted with this truth a few days ago, and sweet repentance came. God must transform my heart for there to ever be a sweet fragrance filling my surroundings. I pray my relationships, duties, and presence reminds people of the knowledge of Jesus and not my humanly corruption. Holiness begins in the heart and then saturates everything around it.

I want the seasons of "hot water" to reveal God's refinement, sanctification, and true strength to the people around me, diffusing a holy knowledge that has saved my life.

Giver of Wisdom

For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.—If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.—For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.—But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise . . . so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.

The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.—I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

And all spoke well of him and marveled at the gracious words that were coming from his mouth.—“No one ever spoke like this man!”—He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, whom God made our wisdom and our righteousness and sanctification and redemption.

Prov. 2:6; Prov. 3:5; Jas. 1:5; 1 Cor. 1:25; 1 Cor. 1:27, 29; Ps. 119:130; Ps. 119:11; Luke 4:22; John 7:46; 1 Cor. 1:30 (Read full verses...)

This was my Daily Light this morning. I found it to be a great comfort and a reminder of where true wisdom is found. Hope it is a blessing to you as well.

Off-White Comparision

While unloading the dishwasher the other day, I wiped dry one of my favorite tea mugs and prepared to place it in the cabinet. I noticed behind the rows of coffee mugs, deep in the shadows of the cabinet, the glimpse of a familiar mug I had been looking for. Reaching far back into the dark space, I pulled out the lost cup. Pleased at my findings, I sat my two mugs side by side on the self as to not forget to use them both. Only then did I notice an obvious difference between them. Designed to be identical, one of the elegant white cups now looked altered. The mug I had retrieved from the dishwasher was slightly darker than the recently rescued one.

I quickly concluded that my daily black tea had quietly stained my frequented cup. I hadn't noticed the difference until I compared it with the originally intended color. "Funny how things can change without me noticing," I thought to myself. I shrugged off the matter and went on to unload the rest of the dishwasher.

It wasn't until a little later that God used the incident to remind me of a principle He had been teaching me. Someone I know had recently brought up the question, "Why do we need to study God's Word?" I thought it to be an absurd question. We are Christians ... reading the Bible is what we do. But that is no answer for a skeptic, or a Christian. Studying God's Word is like holding up the perfect, unstained coffee mug to the one we use every day. Do they compare? Are they the same color? Where and how are we stained?

God's Word is the standard, not the environment around us. Oftentimes I pardon myself by comparing my character, responses, and worldview with the people around me. "Oh, I am not as bad as them..." kind of stuff. This is why we must daily be confronted with the Word. It flatters nothing. It holds the truth about how we are to live and grow. And it shows us where we are getting stained.

Like my tea mug, becoming stained happens quietly. Every morning the color of my mug grew darker in it's complexion, but ever so slightly. If not for the rediscovery of the unsoiled mug, I wouldn't have known anything was different about my cup, or that it needed a better scrubbing. The Bible is the same way. It shows us the perfect standard. Paul compared it to "looking in a mirror," it reveals the true person.

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. (James 1:22-25)

Now on to the "doing" ...  and the scrubbing.

Wimpy Womanhood

"Wimpy theology makes wimpy women ... Wimpy theology simply does not give a woman a God that is big enough, strong enough, wise enough, and good enough to handle the realities of life in a way that magnifies the infinite worth of Jesus Christ. Wimpy theology is plagued by woman-centeredness and man-centeredness. Wimpy theology doesn’t have the granite foundation of God’s sovereignty or the solid steel structure of a great God-centered purpose for all things.

The ultimate meaning of true womanhood start[s] by stating this great God-centered purpose of all things: God’s ultimate purpose for the universe and for all of history and for your life is to display the glory of Christ in its highest expression, namely, in his dying to make a rebellious people his everlasting and supremely happy bride. To say it another way, God’s ultimate purpose in creating the world and choosing to let it become the sin-wracked world that it is, is so that the greatness of the glory of Christ could be put on display at Calvary where he bought his rebellious bride at the cost of his life.

It is not wimpy to say that God created the universe and governs all things to magnify his own grace in the death of his Son for the salvation of his bride. That’s not wimpy. And it doesn’t lead to wimpy womanhood.

But it does lead to womanhood. True womanhood. In fact, it leads to the mind-boggling truth that womanhood and manhood—masculinity and femininity—belong at the center of God’s ultimate purpose. Womanhood and manhood were not an afterthought or a peripheral thought in God’s plan. God designed them precisely so that they would serve to display the glory of his Son dying to have his happy, admiring bride."

--John Piper on The Ultimate Meaning of True Womanhood

Keep Seeking

"Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory." Col. 3:1-4 NASB

You might remember from my last post that I shared a verse God is constantly bringing up in my life and conversations: "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." (Matt. 6:33) Well, this past weekend, the conference I attended had this verse as a underlining theme - seek God passionately, faithfully, consistently. I sat in awe of God the entire weekend. It was a special reminder from God to keep seeking Him, which is a message my heart desperately needs to hear.

There are so many distractions. So many excuses. I have been telling myself that I am seeking God amidst all of life's flutterings, but God's Word has revealed my selfish motivations and infatuation with busyness. I look at the lives of the heroes in the faith, like Abraham and Paul who recklessly sought God's nearness and guidance, and compare their devotion to my own. Does it align? Or maybe touch the hem?

Ah, but God has set my heart on fire again with a passion to pursue Him at all costs. Whatever life holds or hides, may my heart learn this verse like a childhood lullaby, to seek Him faithfully above everything else. For Jesus came "that they should seek God, in the hope that they might feel their way toward Him and find Him. Yet He is actually not far from each one of us..." (Acts 17:27-28)

Deciding Between What We Know and What We Feel

This is such a great subject to send to the archives just yet. So I thought I would attempt to add a few more insights and verses today. This subject is close to my heart, but even closer to the reality of my daily personal struggles. And despite my biased assumption that I have mastered my emotional chaos, the facts tell a different story. How I respond, react, and plan mostly depends on what I am feeling at the time. I would like to grow more solid in my emotional life by resting and grounding myself in the truth - trusting what I know rather than what I feel.

I think this subject can get slightly confusing because emotions are so unexplainably varied. At times our emotions align with the truth, and other times they are opposite. It can get tricky. Thankfully, God's Word talks clearly on this subject by offering personal examples and solid principles. God wants us to know His heart on this.

Psalms 22 is a great illustration and provides tender help for this topic. In the following verses, David is struggling emotionally, but continues to keep a steady trust in God, letting his knowledge of God dictate his responses and commitment.

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are You so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet You are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In You our fathers trusted; they trusted, and You delivered them. To You they cried and were rescued; in You they trusted and were not put to shame." (Ps. 22:1-5)

David is trusting in Truth rather than his feelings. It evidently feels like God has abandoned him. He cries day and night and yet nothing is happening, God is not answering. But David doesn't let this mere emotional destitution to cause him to forsake or distrust God. David goes back to the truth: God has not forsaken him, just as God did not forsake the people before him who trusted in the Lord. David is sincerely honest about what he is feeling, and then there is the "yet". Let this be a sample for our prayers: "God, I feel destitute and forsaken. Yet I know You are near, You are here, and You will help. I believe that."

This is called aligning our emotions with the truth.

It gets even worse for David before this Psalm ends. The people around him start to mock David's faith in the Lord and God Himself. Now two sources are pointing out God's absence: David's emotions and the outside world. This is where it gets hard. This is where faithfulness above feelings comes into painful practice.

"But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by mankind and despised by the people. All who see me mock me; they make mouths at me; they wag their heads; “He trusts in the Lord; let Him deliver him; let Him rescue him, for He delights in him!” Yet you are He who took me from the womb; You made me trust You at my mother's breasts." (Ps. 22:6-9)

It comes down to what we trust: feelings or the truth about Jesus. Life can seem to confirm God's absence, but that simply isn't true. God declares over and over again, "I am here. I am with you." (Josh. 1:9, Heb.13:5, Ps. 73:23) Our job is to trust that He is telling the truth, because... He is.  David closes with this:

"You who fear the Lord, praise Him! All you offspring of Jacob, glorify Him, and stand in awe of Him, all you offspring of Israel! For He has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and He has not hidden His face from him, but has heard, when he cried to Him." (Ps. 22:23-24)

A Song of Faithfulness

While writing the previous post about remaining faithful to God over our feelings, this song kept resurfacing in my mind. I have to share it with you all. Brooke Fraser is the one who wrote and sings this beautiful masterpiece of a song... I love her music and lyrical quality. I will post the lyrics below as well as a video containing the song so you can listen while you read. I have held this song closely through many nights of weeping after God's presence. I hope you enjoy it just as much.

Faithful

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense You close, though I know You're always here
But the comfort of You near is what I long for

[CHORUS]
When I can't feel You, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear You, I know You still hear every word I pray
And I want You more than I want to live another day
And as I wait for You maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So I whisper soft Your name, let it roll around my tongue,
knowing You're the only One who knows me
You know me

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE]
Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

The "Perfect" Quiet Time

A few days ago, Heather wrote to me asking an important and relevant question:

I was wondering if you have done a post in the past about how you do your quiet time?  I am a new Christian- just over a year since my spiritual birthday and I am at a loss for how to go about having a quiet time.  I get up early (before my little ones) and use this time to read my Bible and sometimes journal but I seem to have a hard time focussing.  Any tips?  I would love to see what a day in your quiet time looks like! Thanks so much!

Ah yes, the quiet time. Actually I have had a few people ask me if I had ever written a post on my "perfect" quiet time, and the honest fact is, I don't have a perfect quiet time. I find, personally, that remaining true to a strict, unbending schedule for devotions prevents - and at worst, snuffs - the true joy of seeking God. Every day for me is a little different. Sometimes I read the Bible first, other times I read a devotional to begin. I try to change it up for my own enjoyment and remain flexible to what I think my soul needs today.

Bible reading varies a lot with me. Like this morning, I was really grieving for some dear friends of mine, so I naturally turned to Psalms for comfort. (I find the Psalms to be most helpful when I am having complex feelings or emotional instability.) So that is all I read today; two verses in Psalms and then engaged in a lot of praying. But other days I will read through an entire book in the New Testament for deeper study. So you can see, I don't follow a rigorous quiet time formula.

I think many people are discouraged by their "roaming thoughts" while attempting to have their quiet time. I know this happens with me a lot as well. You sit down to pray and find yourself ten minutes later making a shopping list. Very discouraging! Most of the battle in having a quiet time is holding your thoughts in place. I have found a couple of helpful ideas for taming the mind's rabbit trails by either journalling my prayers or reading the Scriptures or devotional out loud. Or on occasion I will turn on some relaxing worshipful music and sing or pray with the music in the background. Prayer is a great weapon in this battle as well. Tell God what you're feeling - unfocused, sleepy, jittery - and ask for help. He is able and ready to help you stay focused on what matters. (Heb. 4:15-16)

The thing most people don't realize is that maintaining an effective quiet time takes consistent work. It doesn't just happen or come easy for the "elite Christians". Knowing God, just like knowing any other person, takes thought, effort and heart. But it is a campaign worth every minute you put into it. Paul describes knowing Jesus as a "surpassing value". I have found the same to be true. God offers the ultimate promise to us who diligently seek Christ - we shall find Him. (Matt. 7:7)

No matter how you go about seeking God - it doesn't matter the formula - the real treasure is seeking Christ. For every person it will look a little different, because Christ is intimate with uniquely created people.

I have written a post describing a few ideas on how to change up your devotions: Renovating Your Quiet Time and Bored With The Bible. You might find some of the ideas to be helpful in your lifelong journey of knowing Jesus.

Anyone else have some suggestions or insights into having productive quiet times?

Higher Ground

"From the ends of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for You have been my refuge and strong tower against the enemy." Psalms 61:2-3

With the news of yet another dear friend's pain and struggle, my heart felt the renewed despair that accompanies earnest sympathy. The words escaped my mouth as I tried to offer comfort for the people who face their darkest hour. The swelling waters of pain, reality, and heartache are trying their best to drown the life and happiness of those close to me, and I myself feel at times the force of grief. Hearts are fainting. Spirits are weary. Darkness seems to be settling in.

We need higher ground.

Since I was a little girl, the closing of Christ's sermon on the mount has created a solid illustration of faith as our foundation in my mind. (Matt. 7:24-27) You know how the story goes. Two people, two houses, two foundations. One built on the rock, and one built on the sand. When the storm came, the rain fell, and the winds blew and beat on the houses, only one was left standing: the house built on the rock. Storms in life reveal our foundation. If we are still standing when the storm passes, we know Who we are built on.

But sometimes, through the process of a crisis or heartbreak, we see that our foundation is not properly established. The wind and waves are tearing us apart, and we cry out for stability. It is then that we must find higher ground, the solid places, to plant our feet and find a faithful shelter. Jesus is calling us higher. He is the Rock that is higher than our problems, our failures, and our emotional stability. He is the refuge we seek.

"He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.
Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalms 62:2, 8