(This is a follow-up to my questions post from a dew days ago. I have decided to break some of the questions into individual posts for space and clarity.)Kit (echoed by Jen and Camille) asked: "How in the world do we as women deal with our crazy up and down emotions, particularly from a Biblical perspective? Have you had experiences like this, and what did you do? And what tea did you drink while you were doing it? :) "
To begin, yes, I do struggle with my emotions. And hopefully I am learning to handle them better through God's grace and truth, though I am by no means an expert. I only know that the goal of my life is "to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God." (Col. 1:10) Applying this to my emotional life has helped shape a backbone into a somewhat varied and unstable issue.
But let me quickly address a common false assumption among many truth-loving Christians regarding emotions. First of all, emotions are not evil. I have been guilty of such a judgment. Somewhere in my quest to honor God with my emotions I confused emotions with sin. We cannot fall into this trap. Emotions are created by God and can be used to glorify and enhance our love for Him. If we think that by snuffing or ignoring the existence of emotions is pleasing God, we have grossly missed the mark and discolored a fundamental distinction between humans and the rest of creation. So rather than disdaining our emotions, we must learn how to properly and biblically facilitate them.
Let's start at ground level. God made us. He made emotions. So obviously He can direct us in the right course on how to handle them. Emotions are not the truth, but they can align with (or contradict) the truth. The key is to create (or rather discover in Scripture) a bold, unwavering line in which we can examine our emotions to see if they align to God's standard. We should never act on or build upon a shifty foundation, and our emotions are capricious and make horrible footings. We need something stronger and immovable as our foundation -- we need the Word of God to consent or condemn the changing colors of our feelings.
All this sounds good and most of us know this, but how do we practically apply this to those, to borrow Anne of Green Gables' term, "depths of despair" days? I see it like this: Last year I had a thriving jasmine vine whose sole desire was to spread it's branches onto anything and everything it could reach. I bought a wooden trellis to give it some healthy direction instead of growing into high traffic areas on the back deck and getting torn or smashed, but it seemed like I had to re-position it back onto the trellis every morning because overnight it would get out of shape again.
We are exactly like that jasmine. Situations, irritations, people and hormones bend us out of shape and we lash out with purely emotional voltage. We wrap ourselves around unhealthy objects or follow unsafe patterns fed by our emotions that harm the people around us and ourselves, not to mention we sadden the heart of our Father God. Re-shaping our attitudes and feelings in accordance with God's Word (our solid trellis) is the only comfort and hope for the emotional soul.
SO ... the first point is to know what the Word says about how we are to feel; we are to be "increasing in the knowledge of God." Here are a few samples to refute or reaffirm disparate emotions.
- When feeling anxious, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6
- When feeling afraid, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.” Psalms 56:3
- When feeling uncertain, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5
- When feeling depressed, “From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for You have been my refuge.” Psalms 61:2-3
- When feeling alone, “For He has said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
- When feeling stressed, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
- When feeling unloved, “But God demonstrates His own love towards us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
Secondly, don't be afraid to ask God for grace in times of need. Hebrews 4:15-16 assures us, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Unlike ourselves, God's emotions are holy and stable -- so we are never going to catch Him in a "bad moment." He is sympathetic and merciful to the asking, needy heart. In my worst moments of emotional caos, one of the greatest aids is to stop, even if it is for a moment, and humbly ask God for grace. Taking a moment to assess the damage, define the cause, repent of failings, and welcome grace is the remedy for those crazy up and down emotions that we all expereince. And while we're at it, a good cup of camomile tea is defnitely a saving grace.
This is such a great subject to send to the archives just yet. So I thought I would attempt to add a few more insights and verses today. This subject is close to my heart, but even closer to the reality of my daily personal struggles. And despite my biased assumption that I have mastered my emotional chaos, the facts tell a different story. How I respond, react, and plan mostly depends on what I am feeling at the time. I would like to grow more solid in my emotional life by resting and grounding myself in the truth - trusting what I know rather than what I feel.