Stay Close

Far back as I can remember I have loved Psalms 73, especially the ending:

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.

Throughout the seasons of life, I find myself returning and feeding on the beautiful truths and comfort found here. Because honestly, at all times, I desire God's nearness above all. This psalm presents such an honesty about my frailty: my flesh and my heart fail me. They are unfaithful to trust in. And stability I seek can't settle upon either of these.

But Jesus -- sweet Jesus -- is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. He is a rock that is higher than I. He is the exact amount I need every day. When I lack courage and my knees shake under the fear, Christ infuses a perfect timely strength which enables me to keep walking in faith. When I struggle with desires for more, for seasons in the future, for what I don't have, Jesus is my portion. He is and gives exactly what I need for every moment. My cup is always full.

When I wander from His presence I dreadfully perish. My nurishement and hope is misplaced onto objects weak and vain, and I feel their deficientcy in my core. My good is found only in the Lord's nearness. He is my refuge and desire. My greatest need and purpose is to stay close to Jesus... for my joy is found in Him.

UPDATE:

This morning brought the news of my grandmother's death from cancer. I humbly ask for your prayers for my family and myself as we travel to participate in the funeral. Considering what I wrote in this post last night reminds me of the strength and portion He daily gives. His nearness is my greatest comfort.

Thank you for your prayers and comments! It means so much to know you are praying.

time to bloom

I am in one of those moods in which I have much to say -- but I can't get it out in a logical way. Anyone ever have those moments? I have begun about five or six blog posts all encompassing different subjects, but after reading over them . . . let's just say I want to spare you a few rabbit trails. I am attempting to make this post stick.

Today was a gorgeous day. I took a short walk outside just to observe the budding glory of springtime. Color is softly transforming the muted landscapes around me. Tiny delicate buds pop out of the ends of limbs and plants and spread tones of interest to our world. It's beautiful. It's a metaphor for so many subjects.

You may have heard the slogan "bloom where you're planted." I think many people might overlook the bravery and vulnerability it takes to "bloom." Think about it. Winter has snuffed any possible growth with it's frigid, unforgiving control for the past few months. Suddenly the world becomes warm again -- but who knows if it will last. The decision to bloom is dangerous. One delayed frost could stab tender life. Yet . . .

I see blooms.

There is a simple beauty -- a reckless trust -- about springtime. Nature believes that life is here to stay. Winter is over. Time has come to heal and grow. I understand that many of our lives are in this same season. Winter has been cruel. Perhaps we are afraid to ever grow again -- what if we are nipped in the bud?

Fear is our winter . . . yet it is time to trust Jesus enough to bloom in hope and faith. "Perfect love casts out fear..." (1 John 4:18) When the love of Christ has been perfected in us -- when it has mastered us -- our fear impishly sits down and courage rises. It's the beauty of abiding in the Vine.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.  (John 15:4-5)

I don't know exactly what you may be facing or what pains winter has inflicted, but I do know that settling in the shadows is not the answer. Loving Jesus is about trusting Jesus; having His love season and infuse truth, joy, and strength in us. We can break forth and bear fruit because Jesus is completing the work He began in us.

Springtime is here. Time to bloom.

Faith's Appetite

The fight of faith is the fight to stay satisfied with God. “By faith Moses. . . forsook the fleeting pleasures of sin ... He looked to the reward” (Heb 11:24-26). Faith is not content with “fleeting pleasures.” It is ravenous for joy. And the Word of God says, “In God’s presence is fullness of joy, and in his right hand are pleasures for evermore” (Psalm 16:11). So faith will not be sidetracked into sin. It will not give up so easily in its quest for maximum joy.

The role of God’s Word is to feed faith’s appetite for God. And in doing this it weans my heart away from the deceptive taste of lust. At first lust begins to trick me into feeling that I would really miss out on some great satisfaction if I followed the path of purity. But then I take up the sword of the Spirit and begin to fight. I read that it is better to gouge out my eye than to lust (Matt 5:29). I read that if I think about things that are pure and lovely and excellent the peace of God will be with me (Phil 4:8). I read that setting the mind on the flesh brings death, but setting the mind on the Spirit brings life and peace (Rom 8:6).

And as I pray for my faith to be satisfied with God’s life and peace, the sword of the Spirit carves the sugar coating off the poison of lust. I see it for what it is. And by the grace of God, its alluring power is broken.

The challenge before us then is not merely to do what God says because He is God, but to desire what God says because he is good. The challenge is not merely to pursue righteousness, but to prefer righteousness. The challenge is to get up in the morning and prayerfully meditate on the Scriptures until we experience joy and peace in believing “the precious and very great promises” of God (Rom 15:13; 2 Peter 1:4). With this joy set before us the commandments of God will not be burdensome (1 John 5:3) and the compensation of sin will appear too brief and too shallow to lure us.

--John Piper (source)

Spring Fever

My little sister reminded me a few days ago that it has been over a week since I posted on this blog. Please forgive my unexplained absence! It seems that every time I sit down to type something more demanding steals my attention, and thus a lack of posts. In addition -- spring is outside! Phew, it has been a long wait for me but at last it is finally here! I am so thankful for simple things like springtime.

My head has been buzzing with possible blog post suggestions and I am trying to push them out, but I confess my sunny windows beckon me nearer all too often. Yet keep an eye out -- you may see new posts soon.

For now I will leave you with a quote I have been pondering on:

“At the root of all our disobedience are particular ways in which we continue to seek control of our lives through systems of works-righteousness. The way to progress as a Christian is to continually repent and uproot these systems the same way we become Christians, namely by the vivid depiction (and re-depiction) of Christ’s saving work for us, and the abandoning of self-trusting efforts to complete ourselves. We must go back again and again to the gospel of Christ-crucified, so that our hearts are more deeply gripped by the reality of what he did and who we are in him.” -- Timothy Keller

May our hearts become more deeply gripped by the glorious gospel of Jesus.

Can I Trust God?

Have you ever asked yourself, "Why should I trust God?"

Trust is a delicate issue. No one can simply "produce" trust just because we are commanded to. Trust comes as a result of knowing, believing, and resting in the character or stability of something or someone. This directly relates to trusting in the Lord as well. We can't trust God if we don't know God.

In my quiet times, I have been meditating a lot on Psalms 37, especially verse 3. It says, "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness." Cultivate faithfulness can also read feed on His faithfulness. Can understanding God's faithfulness relate to our trusting in Him? I believe so.

In Lamentations 3:21-25 it says, "This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The LORD'S loving-kindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him."

After I dissected those verses a little bit, I made a list of God's character traits explained in these verses that effect and even produce trust in God. Here is what I came up with:

• His loving-kindness never ceases.


• His compassion never fails.


• His faithfulness is great.


• He is my portion.


• He is my hope.


• He is good to those who wait for Him.


• He is good to those who seek Him.

This small list contains huge, life-altering truths that are pertinent to my trusting in the Lord. I can trust Him because His compassion never runs out. I can trust Him because He is my hope in terrifying times. I can trust Him because He is good to those who wait for Him and seek Him. His faithfulness to me is GREAT. His faithfulness reaches to the skies (Ps. 36:5). My heart can rest securely in His character and His promises.

So, can I trust God? ... yes. A thousand times, yes.

complete trust

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

How many times have I heard that verse? 50 times? 100? And yet, how often do I obey it? I can tell you, those numbers are much smaller. Trust is something I am striving to apply in my life right now. There are so many things I am hoping for... waiting for... and I am trusting God to bring what needs to be brought and hold back what needs to wait. Leaning on my own understanding is such a temptation for me. My view is only a partial outlook -- but I still attempt to make decisions based only on what I can see. God sees all things. He is wise and all-knowing. But my stubborn heart loves to lean on my limited vision of life instead of His.

Why? Because I trust in me instead of Him.

Trust involves two things: letting go and holding on. And those are not conflicting. Right now in my life, I am having to let go of what I can't control and release the future, my heart, and my desires into God's hands. But I also hold onto Him. Even tighter.

Trusting in myself is never a good idea.

Thus says the Lord: "Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:5-8)

My flesh is not my strength, yet I rely on it all too often. I want to be like the tree planted by the waters, a woman who has complete trust in her God. Who releases what I cannot control or understand, and clings securely to God, who is worthy of trust.

"Commit your way to Him, trust also in Him, and He will do it." (Ps. 37:5)

A Prelude to Spring

I miss green.

My eyes are weary of gray. Winter's chilly canvas stultifies the comfort and enjoyment I love about the outdoors. I miss the warmth. The color. The fragrance. When, O spring, shall you come again? A few weeks ago I began to miss spring scenery so much, that I went to the grocery store and purchased a cute little houseplant to put on my desk (yes, houseplants can be cute). Looking at it refreshes the pleasant memories I have of gardening and awakened life.

I keep reminding myself that winter is not permanent. Nor are the seasons I find myself in. The times will change and already I can see the crocus budding through the cold, hard earth. I cheer it on. The tips of the tress are changing shapes. Tiny buds are beginning to form. I long to smell the apple blossoms and gather wildflowers for the kitchen table. Please hurry, Spring.

Is anyone else experiencing winter woes? Do you long for spring to bloom?