windows of life

Funny how windows become a mirror to what is inside a house at nighttime. We briefly experience what it feels like looking into our portholes, watching familiar forms and movements live and settle. What kind of people are we?

Talking on a cellphone.
Dishes on the table.
Faces on the television.
Candles on the mantle.

People muddling through life trying to understand our puzzles.

Do we seldom stop and look in the mirrors? If we idled long enough what would we see? Life is a moment, a green light before yellow, a sip before the swallow. Do I cherish the colors that stain the glass I look through?

surrender phobia

"Do you ever feel reluctant to pray "whatever it takes" prayers for fear that God might actually answer them?

The fear is misplaced.

The real danger lies in settling for less."

-- Jon Bloom

Stamped With Crimson Love

I wrote this poem in a hotel room a few hours after my grandmother's funeral. The words had been ringing in my ears all evening. I am so thankful for hope even in grief. Redemption is a tender comfort in death's pain.

darkened room
somber mood
lifeless face
casket closed

weeping eyes
tender hugs
heads are down
memories pulse

I look around this room of death
to see the smoldering flame of life
exterminated--
faces composed of reserve
repress the flood of emotion
waiting to surge

innocent eyes meet the truth:
death is closer than we feared
life is passing like a storm
as a sunset or the dawn
the light changes colors--

we are left alone in the dark
existence leaves a painful mark

human fate is sealed
gravity presses against our dreams
time we have or have not
brings strange focus

if life is short, where is the sweet?

hearts burn for hope
for purpose
for passion

hope is springing amidst the cold reality
from a source few think true--
but it throbs within every soul
like footsteps walking a lantern
into each dark chamber of your mind
searching for a wick to ignite

purpose is found in a simple story
painting dusty roads, thirsty people, a crucifixion
blood spills from a perfect mind
shame is draped upon a sinless form
and in a murder true life is found

passion seizes those who trust
in this man upon the cross
a small spark in a dying field
quickly unfurls and consumes it all

at last, we are found

the casket can be lowered
and covered beneath
but hope cannot be contained
it must be released

darkness has no choice but to flee
in the presence of a light
on the alter of a soul
redeemed and rescued by Jesus Christ

no fear can settle
no pain can desecrate
a life immortal and everlasting
stamped with crimson love

Stay Close

Far back as I can remember I have loved Psalms 73, especially the ending:

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.

Throughout the seasons of life, I find myself returning and feeding on the beautiful truths and comfort found here. Because honestly, at all times, I desire God's nearness above all. This psalm presents such an honesty about my frailty: my flesh and my heart fail me. They are unfaithful to trust in. And stability I seek can't settle upon either of these.

But Jesus -- sweet Jesus -- is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. He is a rock that is higher than I. He is the exact amount I need every day. When I lack courage and my knees shake under the fear, Christ infuses a perfect timely strength which enables me to keep walking in faith. When I struggle with desires for more, for seasons in the future, for what I don't have, Jesus is my portion. He is and gives exactly what I need for every moment. My cup is always full.

When I wander from His presence I dreadfully perish. My nurishement and hope is misplaced onto objects weak and vain, and I feel their deficientcy in my core. My good is found only in the Lord's nearness. He is my refuge and desire. My greatest need and purpose is to stay close to Jesus... for my joy is found in Him.

UPDATE:

This morning brought the news of my grandmother's death from cancer. I humbly ask for your prayers for my family and myself as we travel to participate in the funeral. Considering what I wrote in this post last night reminds me of the strength and portion He daily gives. His nearness is my greatest comfort.

Thank you for your prayers and comments! It means so much to know you are praying.

time to bloom

I am in one of those moods in which I have much to say -- but I can't get it out in a logical way. Anyone ever have those moments? I have begun about five or six blog posts all encompassing different subjects, but after reading over them . . . let's just say I want to spare you a few rabbit trails. I am attempting to make this post stick.

Today was a gorgeous day. I took a short walk outside just to observe the budding glory of springtime. Color is softly transforming the muted landscapes around me. Tiny delicate buds pop out of the ends of limbs and plants and spread tones of interest to our world. It's beautiful. It's a metaphor for so many subjects.

You may have heard the slogan "bloom where you're planted." I think many people might overlook the bravery and vulnerability it takes to "bloom." Think about it. Winter has snuffed any possible growth with it's frigid, unforgiving control for the past few months. Suddenly the world becomes warm again -- but who knows if it will last. The decision to bloom is dangerous. One delayed frost could stab tender life. Yet . . .

I see blooms.

There is a simple beauty -- a reckless trust -- about springtime. Nature believes that life is here to stay. Winter is over. Time has come to heal and grow. I understand that many of our lives are in this same season. Winter has been cruel. Perhaps we are afraid to ever grow again -- what if we are nipped in the bud?

Fear is our winter . . . yet it is time to trust Jesus enough to bloom in hope and faith. "Perfect love casts out fear..." (1 John 4:18) When the love of Christ has been perfected in us -- when it has mastered us -- our fear impishly sits down and courage rises. It's the beauty of abiding in the Vine.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.  (John 15:4-5)

I don't know exactly what you may be facing or what pains winter has inflicted, but I do know that settling in the shadows is not the answer. Loving Jesus is about trusting Jesus; having His love season and infuse truth, joy, and strength in us. We can break forth and bear fruit because Jesus is completing the work He began in us.

Springtime is here. Time to bloom.