Sunday, August 31, 2008

Without a Shepherd

Earlier this week, Anna posted this antipsalm written by David Powlison that has been resurfacing in my brain almost everyday. It unmistakably paints the life to be tasted without Christ as our Good Shepherd. Reading this antipsalm put me in the shoes of unbelievers as they face a life with the suffocating absence of God and the smothering selfishness of their own souls.

When you look at the world and it's captives, this worldview is the aroma of their motives, feelings, pleasures and silence. How much does our world need the news of the Good Shepherd...

Antipsalm 23
I'm on my own.
No one looks out for me or protects me.
I experience a continual sense of need. Nothing's quite right.
I'm always restless. I'm easily frustrated and often disappointed.
It's a jungle — I feel overwhelmed. It's a desert — I'm thirsty.
My soul feels broken, twisted, and stuck. I can't fix myself.
I stumble down some dark paths.
Still, I insist: I want to do what I want, when I want, how I want.
But life's confusing. Why don't things ever really work out?
I'm haunted by emptiness and futility — shadows of death.
I fear the big hurt and final loss.
Death is waiting for me at the end of every road,
but I'd rather not think about that.
I spend my life protecting myself. Bad things can happen.
I find no lasting comfort.
I'm alone ... facing everything that could hurt me.
Are my friends really friends?
Other people use me for their own ends.
I can't really trust anyone. No one has my back.
No one is really for me — except me.
And I'm so much all about ME, sometimes it's sickening.
I belong to no one except myself.
My cup is never quite full enough. I'm left empty.
Disappointment follows me all the days of my life.
Will I just be obliterated into nothingness?
Will I be alone forever, homeless, free-falling into void?
Sartre said, "Hell is other people."
I have to add, "Hell is also myself."
It's a living death,
and then I die.

Contrast with Psalm 23:
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil.
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

How thankful I am that the Lord is my Shepherd... 
Lord, give me the grace to fully understand what You have done for me. My life will never be the same. Thank you, Jesus.

8 comments:

  1. I have lived both of these psalms and I thank God everyday for saving me from myself! Thanks for this post! :)

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  2. Wow - that really puts things in perspective doesn't it! How foolish I am to sometimes think I can "do it by myself."

    Thanks Kaysie. I really needed that!

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  3. WOW! What a contrast in those two psalms! The first one reminded me a lot of my post about being dead yet alive. I can totally agree that life without the Shepherd is worthless. Living for only yourself does leave you feeling empty on the inside.
    However, I'm so thankful that He saw fit to make me one of His sheep!!!!!

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  4. Hi Kaysie!
    I want to say thank you for emailing me-It was helpful!

    Speaking of helpful, this post helped me notice how blessed I am by being a Child of God. It makes me want to go out and witness right now!

    Again thank you!
    Kalani

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  5. Now there's a scary outlook on life...that first psalm is a disturbingly clear picture of the lives of most people today. Thank God that the second one better describes mine!

    This is a great post, Kaysie! Thank you for posting it!
    (Your blog is so awesome.)

    Blessings!
    Julia

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  6. Hi Kaysie! I found your blog through another blog's blogroll... I think. Something like that. :)

    Thank you for posting this: it is SO eye-opening. It's a well-needed reminder that even the most adamant atheist, even the most inflexible unbeliever, is broken and lonely inside, as we all were.

    I lived an "antipsalm life" for about 8 years before turning to Christ... I'm so grateful that now, thanks to him, the real Psalm 23 describes me. :)

    Your posts are inspiring and uplifting - thank you!

    Oksana

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  7. Oksana, thank you for stopping by. I am glad that this post blesses you. Reading this antipsalm really opened my eyes to the wealth and security we experience in Christ. I too am thankful I live in Psalm 23. :)

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  8. That antipsalm describes how I felt, the paranoia I felt, last year when I really lived a godless life, even knowing the truth. I am so glad I have turned back to the light because I have so much hope and faith in the good to come, the God to come, that I overflow with happiness.

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