shake the world again

To eat, to breathe

to beget
Is this all there is
Chance configuration of atom against atom
........... of god against god
I cannot believe it.
Come, Christian Triune God who lives,
Here am I
Shake the world again.

{Francis Schaeffer}

it's a perfect day

And here I am again -- the bad blogger - seeking to redeem lost time and posts with a fresh hello. There is just no time for blogging anymore! I have still managed to maintain a healthy personal journal, but my blogging so easily gets shoved aside on my way to getting things done. All that to say -- hello, I'm still here, I know you thought you would never see another post from me, but I thought I would shock you.

In other news, autumn is soooo close! As I write this post, my windows are open allowing the soothing sounds of crunchy leaves and wind to set the mood. It's a perfect day. Autumn is the most wonderful season ... in my personal opinion. :)

Lately I have been thinking about knowing Christ, in particular from the perspective of Paul who penned the verses "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ." (Phil 3:8) I know I have blogged again and again about these verses, but, I mean, this attitude is incredible! But my great sorrow is that I don't possess this attitude most of the time. I get distracted, complacent, and comfortable in my progress as a believer -- instead of running hard after Jesus. But, the motivation for pursuing Christ is clearly seeing the great, surpassing value of knowing Him. I want this vision. I want a greater taste of the mind-blowing value of knowing this Savior.

vision of a sunset

I stare
at a sunset.

last moment of daytime beauty
before her last breath is taken
and she sinks beneath the tree line.

my world is tinted in gold
rays of yellow kiss the silence around me.

as a mother lowers herself to look
into her child's face
i look the sunset straight in the eyes
with no fear.

the pace of dusk is haunting
mesmerizing
captivating.

colors shoot like fireworks out of her smile
the sky is polluted
with whispering glory.

I stare
at a sunset.

her call comes to us every evening
tugging at our sleeves

tonight our eyes met
I could not look away.

wonder floods my vision
sending echoes of clarity
into every sacred place beneath my skin.

listen to her wordless sermon.

loneliness is not the doom
or patient torment of existence.

through her voice
i hear the pulses of a heart
far greater than my own.

this moment
this beauty
is a fraction of the glory of God.

and I stare
at a sunset.

two years old

Well today is Alabaster Box's second blogoversary! It almost slipped past me without notice! I'd like to take this moment to thank all of my incredible readers for making this journey inspiring and encouraing. You all have no idea how often I have been blessed by your words of kindness throughout these two years.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

and life moves on

You know that life is moving faster than you can keep up with when you carry around your day planner instead of a good book. My semester has begun and it is time to bid summer a tender farewell. But I am kinda ready for new seasons. That delightful autumny nip is in the air -- and I am ready to welcome this season.

Last Thursday was my birthday. 22 years old. Such milestones make me look back and remember past seasons with gratefulness. I told my Mom the other day, "I look back and see that I have come a long way ... but I still have so far to go." That's ok. The journey offers many joys and sorrows, hard lessons and abiding love, sweet memories and hope for the future. It's a good life.

Yesterday on my walk I noticed a delicate leaf slightly painted with scarlet and gold, and I remembered back to the post I wrote around this time last year about rushing the seasons. I went back and re-read it this morning. It still rings true. Yet, maybe (hopefully) I have grown in patience. I am strangely restful and hopeful right now. God promises to complete the work He has started in me (Phil. 1:6) and He promises that I will reap a harvest if I do not loose heart (Gal. 6:9). And I believe Him.

a long-lost update

Honestly, I am surprised to know that people still read this blog, or at least that is what my stats tell me. I kinda want to offer some sort of apology but I think I have already done that a few posts ago ... time seems to skip by without my noticing. I was shocked to learn that today is August 1st. I mean, it's August! I was actually really excited, because it means autumn is almost here. Yes, dear readers, I still possess my strange but happy obsession with fall and all things related. I noticed today that there is a young maple tree in our backyard that has already began to flush crimson. Unbelievable. I feel like I am still living in June or something, but my calender tells me it is August. Strange.

Lots has been going on around here -- nothing especially exciting, but I have been keeping myself busy. But busyness can become a curse if I am not careful. It is so easy to hide behind it. I don't make time to think or pray or write or be -- because life is moving faster than I am able to keep up with. Being aware of such a thing has made me look for applications to help me slow down and discern what, why, where, and how I am doing on my journey with Christ and others. I have found journaling to be the perfect exercise.

Making myself sit down and put thoughts to paper is a challenge. Some days are easier than others, but when I do journal I feel much more coherent. I bought a book the other day called Creative Journal Writing, and thus far have truly enjoyed it (I am still in the early pages, so I cannot vouch for future content as to recommend it). I find that the more frequent and honest my journal entries, the more fruitful my mental and spiritual activity becomes. So I thought I would pose the question to you few faithful readers out there -- what do you think about busyness? Are there ways you have found to cope, eliminate, or deal with it? And do any of you find journaling a helpful antidote for life?

words in my bones

"So you want to be a writer?" I often ask myself.

Yeah. I think so.

It’s a weird decision because it is actually not a decision. Writing is something I cannot help but do. It is like a birthmark never to be removed, like a fire in my bones. When I write it is absolutely satisfying and terrifying all in the same instance. But I want to do it. I feel called to do it. And that pushes me to continue even when each word is a tangled web of thorns I must unravel to procure beauty.

From a very early age I remember loving journals. Books filled with lined, empty pages craving to be filled with the curious and perhaps creative scribbles of an ink pen. I wanted to fill them, but not with just anything. I wanted the words to be good and edifying. I remember visiting my older brother’s college when I was in first grade. As I walked down the halls of the study areas, I watched as hundreds of people shuffled back and forth with stacks of books and papers as they read and wrote with purpose -- and I recall the feeling I had as I observed them: I want to do this too.

Various movies and books also inspired this desire. Characters from beloved stories like Jo March in Little Women, Anne of Green Gables, and any character who simply desired to write from their soul in hopes of changing the world, absolutely inspired me. And they still do.

That same childhood impulse rises again whenever I walk into a Barnes and Nobles bookstore. The smell. The items. The paper. The atmosphere. It all permeates of the writing life that I desire to be a part of. And maybe I will one day. Maybe…