Thursday, July 7, 2011

just blink your eyes

Time stands still. Time flies by.

At the moment I can't tell what it's doing. It seems like just yesterday I was counting down to my wedding day from 100. And suddenly (or is it finally?) we are under two weeks. Unbelievable. Everything is starting to rush by -- but I am still watching it go by in slow motion. I feel like I could close my eyes and it would be right here. There is so much to take in, prepare for, jump into, hold back, and let go. But the day is drawing near, and happiness is swelling. People keep asking me, "Is it sinking in? Does this feel real yet?" Again, yes and no. Because marriage is something I have never experienced, I don't think I can fully prepare for what it will be like. What does feel real is the knowledge that it's coming. And very soon.

Every time I stop for a moment and try to take it all in, my heart almost trembles at God's overwhelming goodness. There are so many needs and questions and decisions that demand resolution, and all we can do is hold out our empty hands and ask for His goodness.

And He fills us. He is guiding us. He is giving us beyond what we could ever ask or think.

~~~

Just blink your eyes and how time has shifted. I wrote the above paragraphs two weeks before my wedding day and now here I am almost two months later: married, happy, and still waiting for the "unreal" to become reality. And I need mercy. The older I get and the more life I expereince, the more I crave His mercy. Mercy to understand. Mercy to serve. Mercy to live in unfamiliar territory for awhile. Mercy to trust Him with all of my inadequacies knowing that His strength is perfect.

And it's a good place to be in.